Florida & North Carolina (Online & In-Person)
Couples Therapy
Stuck Doesn't Have to Mean Over
You Can Find Your Way Back to Each Other
Are you and your partner feeling stuck? When you find yourself in the same conversation with your partner, not feeling heard or understood, you start to lose hope. Maybe you have even moved from painful conflict to cold silence. It is hard to keep working for a solution when you can't hear each other anymore. You're either fighting for the relationship, or shutting down to avoid making it any worse. It feels like there is no solution in sight.
Whether you feel angry and hurt, or find yourself slowly numbing out, it can leave you both feeling lonely, even in the presence of the one person you need most. The good news is there is hope! Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples is an evidence-based approach to help distressed couples reconnect and create more secure attachment bonds.
“EFT has evolved in the last decade from a marginalized and little recognized approach into a mainstream model that is accepted by the American Psychological Association as empirically validated.”
― Susan M. Johnson, 2005
We are created for connection
After God created each element of our world, He said that it was good. However, after His final creation of man, He said “It is not good for man to be alone.” It is clear that we were created for relationships. When they work as intended, they meet the deepest longings of our souls. Science has confirmed this to be true. Our minds, hearts, and bodies work best when we are in loving, secure relationships.
“From the cradle to the grave, humans desire a certain someone who will look out for them, notice and value them, soothe their wounds, reassure them in life’s difficult places, and hold them in the dark.” ― Susan M. Johnson
Because this is so important for all of us, what happens in our most significant relationships influences how we feel about everything else. If everything in our lives is going well, but our marriage is strained, none of the good stuff matters. Conversely, if we experience terrible circumstances but we have a trustworthy partner by our side, we can handle the trial, being bolstered by their simple presence and loving support.
What happens in Couples Therapy?
Feel heard and understood
Your therapist will help you to share what is happening for you, and help your partner hear and understand you.
Understand how your relationship got here
Come to recognize your part in the patterns keeping you stuck. Gain a new awareness of what your partner is experiencing beneath the actions they display on the surface.
Gradually regrow trust between you
Take small risks with therapeutic interactions, restoring hope and motivation to continue working toward reconnection.
Who should do Couples Therapy?
Premarital couples: Learn about the way you interact with each other, and how you can develop good patterns that will keep you connected over time.
Couples stuck in a dance of arguments and withdrawal: Whether dating, separated or married, all couples can slide into a pattern where one person is “fighting for the relationship” (which looks like criticism and complaining), while the other person “avoids making things worse” (by avoiding conflict, which can come across as not caring ). Both parties can end up feeling lonely and hopeless about change being possible.
Couples in constant conflict: There is so much pain when conflict abounds. Having a third party to help you get past your defenses and hear each other is vital for your relationship and your own restored sense of peace
Silent and shut-down couples: Living as roommates can be disappointing and lonely. Resentments and bitterness can grow to intolerable levels. Beginning to address the disconnection is essential to give you a chance to find reconnection and genuine companionship again.
Signs you are making progress
As your safety grows and your attachment becomes more secure…
Arguments are fewer and less intense
Cut-offs are less frequent and resolve sooner
Conflicts become conversations where each person is heard
Feel understood and cared for by your partner again
Recognize that your presence is what your partner needs most
Rekindle the secure attachment bond you had early in your relationship
How To Get Started
Step 1
Phone Consultation
We will discuss what is happening now and I will answer any questions you have.
Step 2
Schedule your first session
We can meet in person at my office, or online through telehealth. I will send you intake forms to complete online before our first meeting.
Step 3
Start sessions
Begin the process of sharing your story and being heard. Grow in the comfort of being understood and gain clarity on your next steps.
Take the first step back to each other.
Reconnection is possible, and it starts with one conversation.